Video Diary #1 - Summer Send Off Day

I'm pretty sure this is the first time Alyssa and Jonah have ever been on Paddle Boats. I wish it was as fun for me as it was for them. It was hot... and that was quite a workout. Paddle Boats are a lot harder than I remember.....




On the Scarlet O'Hara Riverboat



Plantation and Farmyard





Ropes Course and Rock Climb!!!




We had a GREAT family day. :)

Sing a Song....

Saturday morning I heard birds outside my window. This is a good sign, friends. :) Just when I think I could just about live anywhere or do anything I'm reminded how much I love trees and nature. I want to be surrounded by it all someday.

Jonah had crawled into bed with me on Saturday morning. I layed in bed listening to chirping song out my window, and quietly praising God for a sunny day and for birds that sing joyously. Jonah must not have been as impressed as I was. He asked me, "what's that noise?" I kinda smiled to myself and through sleepy tired eyes told him, "it's birds singing outside, baby." "Oh," he said, "they are loud."

I remember being a little sad at his lack of appreciation, but he's only 4. And they WERE loud. And they DID wake us up. But I can think of very few other ways that I enjoy being woken. Spring is almost here. And I am ready! :)

Dear John Thomas,

This might be my first "real" dear John letter ever. While, your comments are entertaining to read, I have no idea who you are. So, I would like you to stop writing comments. This blog is for my personal journaling use only. I do not appreciate the majority of what you have written to me, especially considering the fact that you are a stranger. I only just discovered your comments today and since you've commented almost every entry I figured you'd see this one as well. In the future, I'd like to ask you to be careful what you write on any one's blog, because you don't know what you're dealing with. I, for example, have a court case coming up. And if the person on the opposite side of my case reads your comments (and Im sure he and most of his family now has) then I'm 100% positive that he is going to bring your comments up on the stand. Of course, I will then have to explain to the judge about my personal online journal, and how I have no clue who you are. Which is not as embarrassing to me, as it will be to the Defendant on the case.

I also have a tracking device on my blog so I can see how many times you and anyone else have to been to my blog, where you live, how long you stayed on my page, what browser you have, who your internet service provider is, and what your IP address is. So, I will be watching how often you visit here.

Sorry to sound harsh. But I cannot allow this on my page and I'm guessing I'll probably switch back to long hand journaling soon....

A Note of Thanks. A Request for Prayer.

Dear Sweet Family and Wonderful Friends,

I want to write to you to share with you some good news that I received today. However, first, I feel like I need to let you know some background of what prepped my heart for this moment. God is SO faithful.

Lately, I have been convicted about my prayer life. It isn't that I don't pray. I do! And it's not like I don't pray every day. I do. But I was convicted about the content of my prayers. And how much "ground" I cover in my prayer relationship with God. I think there are certain things that I don't always pray for because I believe that God is Sovereign and therefore my prayer doesn't affect the outcome. So even if my heart has a desire, I tend to take the habit of laying it at the throne and then just leaving it there. How foolish am I! I should be lifting it up to heaven constantly! For example, I pray for my children all the time. I pray that they will have hearts that desire God and that they will give their lives to Him and live to serve Him. But lately, I've been convicted of only occasionally doing that. I have been driven to my knees at night by their bedsides begging God to have mercy on their souls. Begging Him to spare them from themselves, and to give their hearts a desire for Him, and eyes to see that they are/have nothing without Him. This change in my behavior is truly from God. I know this because so many times I have longed for their bedtime so that I can have some peace and quiet! Yet, now God has me taking the extra time begging for intervention on their behalf. I know God hears my prayers, and these specific prayers for my children I will have to wait to see the benefit of. But today, God heard a prayer. And today, He answered it.

I already told you that I've been convicted about not being prayerful enough, and how I know that this is not from me. Here is another way I know it: I couldn't even listen to music on my way to work this morning. It distracted me from my prayers. I have an almost hour long commute and I prayed for everything. And I mean...EVERYTHING! I prayed for my neighbors, my kids, my parents, my sisters and their aspiring marriages, my brother, Jonah's babysitter, my co-worker, my boss, I repented of my all-too-often-way of forgetting that God has saved me. I thanked God for faithfully pursuing me even though I would have given up on myself. I shed tears about how faithful He has been to me. Then I prayed for Tim. I had to. I don't do it often enough. I had to ask God to forgive me for not praying for Tim as much as I should, but I just don't always know how to. So once again, I prayed that he would see how much he needs a Savior, that he would repent, and turn to God. Then I had to admit this: Even if God should choose to stretch out His merciful hand and save and change Tim that I did not want to be with him. And that if God wants me to be with Tim then He was going to have to change my heart, because in my own will and strength I did not want him to be the leader of me or my children. I prayed for this on behalf of Jonah even. I poured my heart's desire to God for my son. I begged God for a godly man to be a godly example of what it means to prepare, provide, and love a woman. I prayed that Alyssa would have the example of what a godly man looks like so that she would have the desire to wait for God's timing in her own life. I prayed for my court case. It's been almost a year since I have filed. "I've waited so long, God. You asked me to wait. I did. I waited to file. I gave Tim time. I gave him space. I hoped and hoped that he would seek change. He didn't. Lord, I've been so patient. Complaining little, and pursuing You. Your truth. Your timing." And it is true. For truly, during this time that is all that God has given me the freedom to do. Act. Wait. Grow. Get fed Truth. Grow. Act. wait. grow. act. wait. wait. yield. grow. wait...wait... (you get the idea). And many of you have asked me many many times what the status of my case is. And every single time I had the same answer. "Waiting." During this waiting time I have grown weary and failed God often. I prayed, "...but please Lord! I am so so weary! I want to be free so that I might live! So that I may go on from this!..." I have not been a perfect "waiter" and I have not always fully pursued Him. I repented of that. Sincerely, I poured out much regret, pain, loneliness, hope, desire, confusion, and pleading. I got to work and my prayer time was over. I said hellos to my co-worker, and put my ipod on my new worship mix and set to work. Not knowing what would happen during my lunch hour....

Then it happened. Only FOUR hours later I got a phone call from my attorney. I get them frequently, but this one is the one I was waiting for.... a court date. I'm finally on the calendar!!!!!!!!! I've never felt so happy, sad, and sick all in the same 5 seconds! February 2nd, my friends. At 9:30 I will show up in court where I will see Tim face to face. He is contesting it because he wants joint custody. In one of his documents he was requesting a jury divorce trial, which would drag this out even more. I don't think he'll get that. He has refused to do everything the court has told him to do thus far (obtain a psychological evaluation and pay child support). I have a pretty good, solid case with lots and lots of proof. I have an attorney. At first the judge had ordered mediation, but my attorney filed a motion requesting security for it since I have a restraining order and the Judge granted it. I am not worried about it. Today. .... but I will worry about it... for the next 21 days.

So, I wonder.... Would this have happened today if I had not prayed for it the way I did today? Well, probably. The paralegal on my case said the Judge made the calendar on January 7th. So, it's been on the calendar since then. But dear friends, I LOVE the way God prepared my heart for it. He did it in way that has a lasting impact. He made it so that HE gets all the glory! God's ways are amazing to me! I fail Him sooo often, yet He is always SO faithful. I am so in love with Him. I am truly truly thankful that He loves me the way He does.

I said this is a note of thanks. THANK YOU dear friends and family for being by my side during this hard trial. It has been such a long grueling road that I have traveled, and I feel like I am finally coming up to the end of this portion of this journey that I set out on so long ago. Some of you have literally held me as I cried. Some of you prayed. Some of you listened. Some of you have become great friends. A few of you I barely know and don't even know all of my story. But your friendship is special to me. I thank you for just being you...for being a friend to me, even though you had no idea how special you were at that moment.

I also said that this is a request for prayer. My friends, I am not out of this yet. This day that I have been waiting so long for is one that I have also been dreading. This finalizing of the closure of my marriage is not exciting. The day I got married I never thought this would happen. When I held our first and second child I never thought I'd be excited about the day that God would set me free from this prison. I never wanted to be this woman that I am. But here I am. And God ordained it. For my good. And for His glory. But as I walk these next 3 weeks please join me in prayer. Pray that God will be so very close to me. That I would be still enough to hear Him. Pray that I will not be a worrier, and that when I do fret, that I give my requests, worries, and fears to God to handle. Pray for my children. BEG God to keep them safe. And I don't just mean physically. I mean emotionally and spiritually. Emotionally... pray that they will be freed from any affects/labels that the world has given them because of our families reality. Pray for me, as I lead them. That when they see me struggle, that they see me wrestle through this trial through prayer, accountability, and Scripture. Spiritually.... pray for protection. Pray that they will be surrounded by the TRUTH and that lies will be far from them. This is the main reason for my desire for full custody. The children.

Thank you dear friends and family for being close to me. For helping me. For praying.... I love you all.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers (and sisters), I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"

Because of what He did for me,

Karen (Rau) Garmon

"Not Me" Monday

Even though my alarm clock went off at 6:00 this morning, I did NOT manage to hit snooze twice before getting out of bed. I DIDN'T find Jonah in bed with me, and therefore I did NOT stumble around in the darkness finding my clothes so as not to wake him up. Once showered,I did NOT come back to my bed to peek at him and find him missing. I did NOT think I would find him sound asleep and back in his own bed trying to convince me that he NEVER got in mine. I would absolutely NOT enjoy the company that he brings me when he climbs in my bed, and I NEVER EVER bribe him with candy to encourage him to stay in his own bed every night.

I did NOT run to the kitchen this morning to make tea first thing this morning just to make it to the 8oclock hour. And I DENIED it when my sister asked me if I got up early. And I told her that I did NOT want to be a good steward for my little family, and I did NOT want to rush this morning.

I did NOT look at Alyssa's paper that I was supposed to sign and then forget to sign it. I did NOT put it in her notebook and send it to the teacher. It did NOT come back this afternoon for me to sign again.

I did NOT eat some of the kid's snack this morning in my classroom at Classical Conversation. I did NOT play CandyLand with 8 children today. And I certainly did NOT give them a dime, a penny, and a paperclip as extra pieces (since the game is made for 4 players). I did NOT sneak the GranMa Nut card up on the gloating little girl who was winning so that a younger child could actually win. I did NOT have my car rear ended in the parking lot on the first day of classes. I did NOT tell the lady that if she was going to rear end any car then she picked the right one.

This is NOT my first Not Me Monday post, and I do NOT approve this message.

At a Glance

Things I have done this week:

Monday - Last day of break! I watched Connor and Evan for the day since their parents had to work. It was Evan's birthday and I did my best to make it special for them. They came over to our house and played with Alyssa and Jonah's Christmas presents in the morning. Then, we went over to their house to make a Big Top Cupcake which turned out really cute once it was all done and decorated. Then we went to Chuck E. Cheese's with the Grimes to celebrate with Evan. Happy 6th birthday, buddy!

Tuesday - Alyssa had to go back to school for the first time in 2 weeks. She had a really nice break. And she had a really good day. And amazingly, not one child "pulled their clip" - quite astonishing (though Alyssa hasn't had to pull hers ever). In her folder, her teacher said they are going to start having spelling tests this week. First one on Friday! I went to work, and since it was the 12th day of Christmas my boss took us out to lunch. It was fun! Jonah had a good day at Farrah's and Nana picked him up!

Wednesday - Bible study and Kidzlife resumed!!! Yay yay yay! These days are always busy, but they are so rewarding. We are almost finished our in-depth study of Revelation, and I have spent a lot of time the rest of this week working on my "prophecy timeline" and particularly focusing on Daniel's 70th week, and the seals, trumpets, and bowls. It is easy to get frustrated during this study, but God is faithful to teach and reveal so much of Himself, that all the time spent on it ends up being rewarding. Then - KIDZLIFE! We had a lot of kids for the first night back! Man, I love those guys. We are extending Christmas a little bit by studying the birth of Jesus. The first half of the year we have been study the promise of, and the need for a forever king. This week -- He was born! I love teaching these little boys and girls the amazingly simple but awesome truths of God and who He is!

Thursday - School. Work. Farrah. That is what the main part of this day was for each of us. It was good, but tiring. The exciting thing about this day was the buzz of snow, and the hopes of it. Oh, and just in case it did snow, Brock spent the night so he could play with us all if it did.

Friday - NO SCHOOL!!! Well, it did snow, but not very much. There was a LOT of ice. Actually, I cant remember the last time I have seen (of if I ever have seen) frozen lakes and creeks in Georgia. They are really pretty. Since we had an extra day, Mom and I went to the Mall of GA to see if we could find Jonah some pants to wear in the wedding. We took Jonah with us, and Alyssa went to the Bayne's house to watch a movie in their theater. Jonah really enjoyed his trip to the mall. I realized that he had never been to one before. Normally, I avoid the mall at all cost. He thought the escalators were amazing. But the best part of the day, was when he tried on his tux. Oh my word, that boy is adorable. He really looked so handsome. I cracked up when he asked why it had tags on. Wow. The child has never had tags on his clothes before either. I think he felt pretty special going on with mom and I. And he hugged and kissed me a 100 times and told me he loves me. I told him he was so handsome. Whewee!! He things he is going to marry me, you see. And I think I'm going to let him think that as long as he wants...... :)

Saturday - Today... Rachel, Alyssa, and I went to Anna's dress fitting. She tried on her wedding dress, and we put on our bridesmaids dresses, and Alyssa put on her Flower Girl dress. Anna's dress is really pretty and she looks beautiful in it. Like a princess! :) Then we went to lunch at Sweet Tomatoes! YUMMY! And very good girl time. I love including my daughter in outings like that. It is special. :) Then we came home, changed clothes, let Alyssa play a little while I did a few house chores, then we went to Anna's first wedding shower hosted by my next door neighbor Lesley! It was a beautiful shower with beautiful food. Then home for some pj's, kids in bed, hot tea, a game of Rummikub with the fam, and now I'm blogging and listening to my new worship mix on itunes. :)

My Compilation Worship Mix - this is my "project" of the week. I wanted to create a worship mix. So I took all my worship songs and grouped together 16 songs inspired by the Lord's Prayer. Well, the songs aren't inspired by the Lord's prayer. The format of the mix is. It's divided into 4 parts: a) Holy/Adoration b)Soveriegnty/Delivering section, c)Sanctification/Prayer for the Nations and d) Celebration. If you see a widget for music mix on here, then it is my worship mix and I figured out how to put on of those on here.

I want to be a better blogger. I know that this is a lot. But for now, I'm hoping this will get me in the habit and then I hope to be more creative with it... including a Not Me Monday tradition. We'll see how it goes...

In the meantime, if you read this... may you be blessed today.

a New Year. a new resolution.

In 2010 I want to read through the entire Bible... chronologically. I have never before set out on an adventure like this, but so far I have enjoyed it. I really can't wait to start reading about David. But for now.... I'm heading to keep up with the dedication (even through much suffering) of Job as he demonstrates his unbelievable understanding of who God is..... it is amazing how he could know and understand how depraved he was and how big, perfect, and just God is at this point on the timeline. This portion of History is a mystery to me, as this all occurred before Abraham...

It leaves me speechless as I sit in awe of Job's knowledge, his stubbornness to stay honorable to his Maker, and how much I can learn from this amazing portion of God's Word.